Friday, October 9, 2009

Why kids need rules

This isn't formal research, but I thought it applied to many of you parents who were struggling with how to help your sick children eat. As much as they try to fight you, they also need someone else to impose the consistency of meals and snacks.

A blog post from Psych Central really helps explain how and why kids not only need rules, but they come to like them. Here are a few pertinent quotes:

Kids feel more at ease and secure when they know who’s running the show.

[Kids] know they have a fair chance.

Kids have very few naturally occurring self control skills. Rules, however annoying, make a strong imprint over time inside their little brains. As an adult, they have the skills to start and establish other good habits besides the ones you taught them. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.


Laura Collins said...

So important. Thank you!

Telstaar said...

I haven't read the article you linked to... I also believe that kids need rules. However, I believe that these rules need to be fair, age appropriate and be consistently and fairly enforced. If a rule is there but the child is always allowed to veto it, then it accounts for nothing. Similarly, if the punishment for breaking the rule is too harsh, then it can lead to other traumas.

I know that the girls I work with, they know the boundaries and they know in which areas they are allowed to neogtiate and more importantly, they KNOW that I will follow through on what I say, so after awhile, they stop fighting on the boundaries (rules) so much and we make progress.

Sorry, just extra thoughts :)